A must read book...

After soccer this morning where Shane played a great game, and his team won as well, we had lunch, and then went to the swimming pool (did we wait the hour after eating before swimming??? Is it an old wives tale?! I guess you'll never know!) :)

Anyway, when we go to the pool is one time where I have the chance to sit down and read a book and really contemplate it. A friend of ours from church gave us a book called "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. I've gotten through the first 4 chapters and to me, this is the book to beat all books. It gets straight to the basics of raising a child in a Godly home and helping that child grow up making decisions not out of fear of his parents, or fear of disapproval from someone, but he makes good decisions because his heart is a heart that wants God's approval.

While I was reading this book, one thing that popped out at me probably the MOST is that when I get "angry" at a misbehavior, if it is "unholy" anger, it is a sin! I must confess that when I get angry at something that Shane has done wrong, it is probably 99% of the time, this unholy anger and I have sinned against Shane and against God. When we get angry because his behavior makes us look bad, or simply because he didn't do exactly what we asked when we asked it, we are sinning.

When we yell at our kids, we are sinning. This is one of the verses in the bible that makes this truly hit home. "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20 One thing the author of the book states about this is... "If you correct and discipline your children because God mandates it, then you need not clutter up the task with your anger." Wow...that's really powerful to me.

God has commanded us to discipline our children out of love. We mess it up when we let our feelings get in the way and we get angry.

There are lots of great points, but another one that stood out to me is that discipline is corrective, not punitive. Even in the short time we've been together, I can tell that the times that I've been able to sit down and explain why things are wrong, and get to the heart of the matter have made a MUCH greater impact than any amount of grounding, or "punishment" could ever make. I'm not saying punishment is wrong at all. God said not to "spare the rod". But, it should never be punitive. If it makes me as a parent feel "vindicated" when I punish my child, I am sinning. I do not have my heart in the right place and in turn, I am not teaching my child to obey God, I am teaching them that if they don't do what I want, I'll "make them pay!" Sure, this might work on the outside and get kids that have had the "fear of God" put in them by their parents, but it didn't train their hearts.

Dear God...help me see past myself to see that you have given us an incredible task. As I watched Shane playing in the water today I realized that God has entrusted us with this beautiful life. Shane is a child who is charismatic. People love him! He's beautiful on the inside and outside. He's seen and experienced things that adults should never have to see or experience, and he's come through them. He's strong on the outside, but his heart is broken and God has placed his heart in our hands. I just have to remember that God is holding onto our hands to care for Shane's heart.

Thank you God for this little life that has more potential than I can even begin to imagine...and please help me to strive to be the best I can be for him...