I've been thinking a lot today about the word "Friend" and what it truly means.
What is a friend?
A friend is that first real breath you get after you've had the breath knocked out of you.
A friend is the smell of a coming refreshing rain after a season of drought.
A friend is the feeling in your body after a long night's sleep, you wake, stretch, and you feel the energy in each and every muscle in your body. It permeates your being. That's a friend.
A friend is that first tear the slowly rolls down your face when things get tough. It's cold as it rolls down, but fears, stress, heartache is released in it.
A friend is the warm fresh feeling you get when you hear a baby giggle.
A friend is the feeling in your chest when a cat lays on you and begins to purr.
A friend is a ray of sunshine peaking through the clouds after a warm summer rain.
When everyone else has gone, a best friend stays. When times get tough, a friend doesn't give up..ever!
When I try to push my best friend away, she stays just close enough to reach out her hand so that I can take it when I'm ready.
My best friend makes me feel all of those things. The warm feelings that runs from head to toe....peace and rest. Loved.
Words cannot truly convey my thoughts and feelings, but I thank God everyday that I have my best friend.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Monday, December 22, 2008
Wow, it's been a while!
It has been forever since I've written anything. Time FLIES it seems these days.
Lets see, I started my new job. It was nothing at all like I expected. I work with awesome people and am happy for the opportunity to be there, but I need to get back in the classroom. I miss my students. So, I'm looking to make a slight change in my schedule. That's all in the works and I'll post more about it once it's all set. Just keep me in your prayers.
My husband...he's just as busy as ever. They've been working him quite hard at his job, and he is looking for a change now. They did some major layoffs and it hit him. So, after 13 years there, he is now on the hunt for something new. I know God will take care of us, and he was offered a nice package to separate, but it's still a bit scary to have this happen. Please keep us in your prayers here as well as he hunts for the right place of employment.
Shane....well, he's Shane. Ups and downs. He's an incredible kid with a giant heart. He's got so much in his past that you'd think he has every right to hate the world, but he doesn't. He is loving and giving and a sweet boy. He's got his problems, but given his past, I'd say he's doing INCREDIBLY well.
Christmas this year will be great. We are spending it with my Mom and Dad in East Texas. My mom loves it when we come there, and it will be Shane's first Christmas there, so he's quite excited. We are building lots of memories for Shane and ourselves. This is his first Christmas to have a "repeat." He moved foster homes so frequently, that he never experienced Christmas in the same place twice. Now...that is all changing. This is his second Christmas with us and we intend to create as many traditions as possible with him and pray that his roots will grow deeper and deeper in love and trust in us, and more importantly, in God.
Merry Christmas everyone!!
Lets see, I started my new job. It was nothing at all like I expected. I work with awesome people and am happy for the opportunity to be there, but I need to get back in the classroom. I miss my students. So, I'm looking to make a slight change in my schedule. That's all in the works and I'll post more about it once it's all set. Just keep me in your prayers.
My husband...he's just as busy as ever. They've been working him quite hard at his job, and he is looking for a change now. They did some major layoffs and it hit him. So, after 13 years there, he is now on the hunt for something new. I know God will take care of us, and he was offered a nice package to separate, but it's still a bit scary to have this happen. Please keep us in your prayers here as well as he hunts for the right place of employment.
Shane....well, he's Shane. Ups and downs. He's an incredible kid with a giant heart. He's got so much in his past that you'd think he has every right to hate the world, but he doesn't. He is loving and giving and a sweet boy. He's got his problems, but given his past, I'd say he's doing INCREDIBLY well.
Christmas this year will be great. We are spending it with my Mom and Dad in East Texas. My mom loves it when we come there, and it will be Shane's first Christmas there, so he's quite excited. We are building lots of memories for Shane and ourselves. This is his first Christmas to have a "repeat." He moved foster homes so frequently, that he never experienced Christmas in the same place twice. Now...that is all changing. This is his second Christmas with us and we intend to create as many traditions as possible with him and pray that his roots will grow deeper and deeper in love and trust in us, and more importantly, in God.
Merry Christmas everyone!!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
New Job
Well, on Monday I embark on my new career path with Leander ISD. I am excited about this new adventure, but also just a bit apprehensive. Will I be what they expect? I hope not. I hope to be much much more than what they are expecting.
I am going to be working in a capacity that I have never worked before. I will be attending ARD meetings and working more with parents and staff than actual direct contact with the kids. I must admit to being a bit sad about this. I love my students and working directly with them, so this change is one that I am sad about, but I know I will be working to touch even more kids in this new role.
So, Monday morning will be my first day. I certainly hope it is all that I hope for it to be and much much more. I hope to use my talents and abilities to improve what is already there, and to simply build upon the work that has already been begun there.
Well, I guess I will post soon and we will see how things are going!!
I am going to be working in a capacity that I have never worked before. I will be attending ARD meetings and working more with parents and staff than actual direct contact with the kids. I must admit to being a bit sad about this. I love my students and working directly with them, so this change is one that I am sad about, but I know I will be working to touch even more kids in this new role.
So, Monday morning will be my first day. I certainly hope it is all that I hope for it to be and much much more. I hope to use my talents and abilities to improve what is already there, and to simply build upon the work that has already been begun there.
Well, I guess I will post soon and we will see how things are going!!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Communication Skills Workshop
In less than an hour I leave to go teach my third and final CSW (Communication Skills Workshop) for the year at Texas School for the Deaf. CSW is something I look forward to all year. It gives me the chance to work with others in my field who want to improve themselves, and I'm always excited about that.
I have noticed something a little different this year though. I seem to have developed an even greater passion for making sure the interpreters that I work with feel good about themselves. In our profession, it is SO easy to get down and start thinking that you/we/I are not good enough. I've had people come through my classes last week who were so down because I happen to teach a class that is the nemesis to all interpreters it seems (voice interpreting). It's very nerve wracking and I feel bad when people get upset.
Last week, I actually started to cry in one class when I had a student who had done a very good job with the interpreting, yet she could not find one good thing to say about herself. It made me angry. Not at her, but just at the idea that we've gotten ourselves to this state. The state that if I'm not as good as so and so, then I have no worth in this profession. How did "so and so" get where they are today? EVERY interpreter who has ever become a level 5 or a master, or NIC Master..or whatever, has sat in the same seats as the beginner participants. (Excluding those that are CODAs) and even some CODAs struggle. So, we ALL started in the same place, and it just takes time, work and hanging out with Deaf adults to improve.
I don't know why this has got me all worked up. Could be because of my own insecurities regarding my abilities (I'm quite sure that is it). So, I'm basically preaching to myself here too.
Okay, enough for my rant for the day. I just needed to say that before I head into one more week. A week filled with eager folks looking to learn as much as they can and it's my job to pump them full of information, and help them to fulfill their potential!
I have noticed something a little different this year though. I seem to have developed an even greater passion for making sure the interpreters that I work with feel good about themselves. In our profession, it is SO easy to get down and start thinking that you/we/I are not good enough. I've had people come through my classes last week who were so down because I happen to teach a class that is the nemesis to all interpreters it seems (voice interpreting). It's very nerve wracking and I feel bad when people get upset.
Last week, I actually started to cry in one class when I had a student who had done a very good job with the interpreting, yet she could not find one good thing to say about herself. It made me angry. Not at her, but just at the idea that we've gotten ourselves to this state. The state that if I'm not as good as so and so, then I have no worth in this profession. How did "so and so" get where they are today? EVERY interpreter who has ever become a level 5 or a master, or NIC Master..or whatever, has sat in the same seats as the beginner participants. (Excluding those that are CODAs) and even some CODAs struggle. So, we ALL started in the same place, and it just takes time, work and hanging out with Deaf adults to improve.
I don't know why this has got me all worked up. Could be because of my own insecurities regarding my abilities (I'm quite sure that is it). So, I'm basically preaching to myself here too.
Okay, enough for my rant for the day. I just needed to say that before I head into one more week. A week filled with eager folks looking to learn as much as they can and it's my job to pump them full of information, and help them to fulfill their potential!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Beyond Consequences - It Really Works!
First off, if you want to know what I'm talking about, go to www.beyondconsequences.com
Here goes....
I attended The BCI Instructor’s Course this weekend in Denver Colorado, and if just for this one day, things are this much improved; my life is greater because of BCI and parenting out of a love based model instead of parenting out of fear.
Most people don’t even recognize that they do parent out of fear. And if they did recognize it, they possibly couldn’t admit it. It’s amazing when you really take a step back and take a look at the way that you react to your child’s outbursts.
Prior to attending the training, I was definitely parenting out of my own fear. I was afraid of losing control. I was afraid of having a child, who grows up to a life of crime, or acting on impulse and getting himself into serious trouble. I was afraid of parenting in a manner that other people didn’t deem “strict” enough. When my son would get upset (like he did just 30 minutes ago) and start screaming “you never…” or “you always…” I would be right back in his face reminding him of all the fabulous things I’d just done for him. Let me tell you this story and see if it helps…
We have just spent the day at Starbucks, then therapy this morning. We then went to a store, where my son did a fabulous job of staying calm, with my help, while he selected something to spend his allowance on. We then met my husband for lunch together at a restaurant. Things were going fabulously! (That should have been my warning). I decided to take my son swimming and give my husband a little time to take a nap. So, we came home and changed clothes, then headed to the pool. At the last minute, I decided to run to the store and get a toy boat that he’d been asking for (it was a whole $1.50). He was so happy about that. We go to the pool, all is well and then I decided to hit Sonic for an ice cream on the way home. What a nice day it had been! Yes, I do recognize that I have just created a VERY stimulating day for my son, but things were going so well, I kept coming up with new fun stuff to do together! I wanted the feeling to last.
We arrive home and he ate his ice cream. He played a game with my husband, and then headed out to play with a friend. His friend wasn’t home, so he came back and when I saw the look on his face, I knew where we were headed. I turned around and pulled him to me and asked him what was wrong. He quickly decided that he wanted to do a craft with me. I was right in the middle of cleaning the kitchen, so I told him when I was done, we would do something. That wasn’t good enough. He turned and started to head out of the room. I tried to get a hold of him and hug him (that usually works to calm him) but he wanted none of it. He stormed off into his room. I calmly followed (forcing myself to take deep breathes and not start yelling at him, or FORCE him to hug me to calm him down). He saw me follow him and he turned to face me as he shut his door in my face. I can quite honestly say that in the past, I’d have NEVER allowed that door to be shut in my face, but this time something clicked for me. I stood outside his door and took a deep breath. I could hear him just on the other side of it. I’m quite sure he was braced against it just waiting for me to start forcing the door open. I quietly and calmly said “I’m not going to push your door open. When you are ready for me to come in, I’ll be waiting right here.” He immediately said “you can come in” and he turned the doorknob for me.
I went in and he started throwing things, kicking things, his beanbag chair included, then he flopped down on it and started to scream and cry. He screamed “you NEVER have time to do things with me! You are always working!” In the old way, I would have begun listing all the things we had done together, starting off with Starbucks together at 7:00 that morning, but, instead, I somehow remained quite calm and I lay down beside him on that bean bag chair and said “oh, Shane, I am so sorry.” He continued with “you always have work to do, and you never have time to do anything with me!” I simply stated again how sorry I was and that he looked so sad and possibly angry at me. He continued his rant and I continued to apologize and reflect what I saw in his eyes. He turned and looked me in the eyes. I believe he saw that I was truly sincere. He slowly reached up and caressed my face and said “it’s alright mommy.” I just remained silent and lightly rubbed his arm, and from time to time, his face. I then said “I think we need to do something together. The kitchen can wait.” (This was after a good 10 minutes of me just laying there and showing him I had no where to go). He said “no, it’s okay. I know you need to do that.” I said “no, you are more important than that, so what would you like to do?” ….
So, we spent a few minutes together, and he ended up wanting to go outside and play without me, but, wow….what a difference! He is now regulated, as am I, and I am feeling pretty good about that whole interaction. Now, do I know that I will mess this up sometime? Absolutely! Do I know that there are times it won’t turn out quite this perfectly? Of course! But, if nothing else comes of this, I know it works. I’ve seen it first hand, and was able to take my son from a state of extreme dysregulation, to a calm and regulated state all by simply staying connected, and validating his feelings. THIS is truly parenting out of love. THIS is how I know this works!
Here goes....
I attended The BCI Instructor’s Course this weekend in Denver Colorado, and if just for this one day, things are this much improved; my life is greater because of BCI and parenting out of a love based model instead of parenting out of fear.
Most people don’t even recognize that they do parent out of fear. And if they did recognize it, they possibly couldn’t admit it. It’s amazing when you really take a step back and take a look at the way that you react to your child’s outbursts.
Prior to attending the training, I was definitely parenting out of my own fear. I was afraid of losing control. I was afraid of having a child, who grows up to a life of crime, or acting on impulse and getting himself into serious trouble. I was afraid of parenting in a manner that other people didn’t deem “strict” enough. When my son would get upset (like he did just 30 minutes ago) and start screaming “you never…” or “you always…” I would be right back in his face reminding him of all the fabulous things I’d just done for him. Let me tell you this story and see if it helps…
We have just spent the day at Starbucks, then therapy this morning. We then went to a store, where my son did a fabulous job of staying calm, with my help, while he selected something to spend his allowance on. We then met my husband for lunch together at a restaurant. Things were going fabulously! (That should have been my warning). I decided to take my son swimming and give my husband a little time to take a nap. So, we came home and changed clothes, then headed to the pool. At the last minute, I decided to run to the store and get a toy boat that he’d been asking for (it was a whole $1.50). He was so happy about that. We go to the pool, all is well and then I decided to hit Sonic for an ice cream on the way home. What a nice day it had been! Yes, I do recognize that I have just created a VERY stimulating day for my son, but things were going so well, I kept coming up with new fun stuff to do together! I wanted the feeling to last.
We arrive home and he ate his ice cream. He played a game with my husband, and then headed out to play with a friend. His friend wasn’t home, so he came back and when I saw the look on his face, I knew where we were headed. I turned around and pulled him to me and asked him what was wrong. He quickly decided that he wanted to do a craft with me. I was right in the middle of cleaning the kitchen, so I told him when I was done, we would do something. That wasn’t good enough. He turned and started to head out of the room. I tried to get a hold of him and hug him (that usually works to calm him) but he wanted none of it. He stormed off into his room. I calmly followed (forcing myself to take deep breathes and not start yelling at him, or FORCE him to hug me to calm him down). He saw me follow him and he turned to face me as he shut his door in my face. I can quite honestly say that in the past, I’d have NEVER allowed that door to be shut in my face, but this time something clicked for me. I stood outside his door and took a deep breath. I could hear him just on the other side of it. I’m quite sure he was braced against it just waiting for me to start forcing the door open. I quietly and calmly said “I’m not going to push your door open. When you are ready for me to come in, I’ll be waiting right here.” He immediately said “you can come in” and he turned the doorknob for me.
I went in and he started throwing things, kicking things, his beanbag chair included, then he flopped down on it and started to scream and cry. He screamed “you NEVER have time to do things with me! You are always working!” In the old way, I would have begun listing all the things we had done together, starting off with Starbucks together at 7:00 that morning, but, instead, I somehow remained quite calm and I lay down beside him on that bean bag chair and said “oh, Shane, I am so sorry.” He continued with “you always have work to do, and you never have time to do anything with me!” I simply stated again how sorry I was and that he looked so sad and possibly angry at me. He continued his rant and I continued to apologize and reflect what I saw in his eyes. He turned and looked me in the eyes. I believe he saw that I was truly sincere. He slowly reached up and caressed my face and said “it’s alright mommy.” I just remained silent and lightly rubbed his arm, and from time to time, his face. I then said “I think we need to do something together. The kitchen can wait.” (This was after a good 10 minutes of me just laying there and showing him I had no where to go). He said “no, it’s okay. I know you need to do that.” I said “no, you are more important than that, so what would you like to do?” ….
So, we spent a few minutes together, and he ended up wanting to go outside and play without me, but, wow….what a difference! He is now regulated, as am I, and I am feeling pretty good about that whole interaction. Now, do I know that I will mess this up sometime? Absolutely! Do I know that there are times it won’t turn out quite this perfectly? Of course! But, if nothing else comes of this, I know it works. I’ve seen it first hand, and was able to take my son from a state of extreme dysregulation, to a calm and regulated state all by simply staying connected, and validating his feelings. THIS is truly parenting out of love. THIS is how I know this works!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I miss my boy...
Well, last Saturday, Steve and I drove our son to go and visit his grandparents. He's never stayed away from us this long, so we were a bit unsure as to how this was going to go. Steve and I stayed until Sunday morning so that we could celebrate Father's Day together with my parents and with Shane.
I've spoken to them most everyday, and things seem to be going well. I know that my parents are quite exhausted I'm sure, but doing quite well with him it seems. He's had a few of his little bad attitude problems, but nothing that they can't handle.
My mom did call to tell me that Shane had made a couple decisions while there. He decided that first of all, we would be going to East Texas for Christmas next year, so my mother was very happy with that idea! He has apparently also decided that we will be MOVING to East Texas, but one more thing...he will live with grandma and grandpa while we live close by so that he can visit. Do you think that he is having a good time with Grandma and Grandpa? I believe he is.
Today, it hit and I miss him a lot. I am ready for him to come home. I will be going to pick him up this weekend, but I sure do miss him! Can't wait for him to get home!
I've spoken to them most everyday, and things seem to be going well. I know that my parents are quite exhausted I'm sure, but doing quite well with him it seems. He's had a few of his little bad attitude problems, but nothing that they can't handle.
My mom did call to tell me that Shane had made a couple decisions while there. He decided that first of all, we would be going to East Texas for Christmas next year, so my mother was very happy with that idea! He has apparently also decided that we will be MOVING to East Texas, but one more thing...he will live with grandma and grandpa while we live close by so that he can visit. Do you think that he is having a good time with Grandma and Grandpa? I believe he is.
Today, it hit and I miss him a lot. I am ready for him to come home. I will be going to pick him up this weekend, but I sure do miss him! Can't wait for him to get home!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
A Fish Called Kevin...
Today, as Shane and I were driving home, I made a spur of the moment decision to buy him a beta fish that he's been wanting for a long time. We went in and got it and he was on cloud 9. We already had the tank and things at home, so we came home to get it all set up.
On the drive home, he was trying to come up with a name for his fish. He first thought he'd name it Ben, from Ben 10. Then, he thought of Jared (who knows why). And finally, he landed on Kevin. I have no idea where that name came from, but hey, it's what he wants to call his fish, so who am I to argue!?
So, we get home and I start setting up the tank. I walk into the other room and he gets concerned that Kevin will be lonely in the kitchen while we are working on the tank, so I tell him to just bring Kevin along with us. (Poor fish probably never had such a bouncy caregiver before!) This next part just brought tears to my eyes.
I walk out of the room and as I'm coming back, I hear Shane talking to Kevin the fish. He is telling the fish that he finally has a good home and it just took some time to find the exact right family for him, but now he has the right family. He is leaned down with his face right at the edge of Kevin's little temporary bowl home and telling him in the softest, sweetest voice, "I'm right here. You don't need to worry. I'll take care of you." That was the most beautiful thing!
Of course now he's out riding his scooter and Kevin is swimming around in his new home, but I suspect we will hear many many conversations that take place between Shane and Kevin! What a cute pair!
On the drive home, he was trying to come up with a name for his fish. He first thought he'd name it Ben, from Ben 10. Then, he thought of Jared (who knows why). And finally, he landed on Kevin. I have no idea where that name came from, but hey, it's what he wants to call his fish, so who am I to argue!?
So, we get home and I start setting up the tank. I walk into the other room and he gets concerned that Kevin will be lonely in the kitchen while we are working on the tank, so I tell him to just bring Kevin along with us. (Poor fish probably never had such a bouncy caregiver before!) This next part just brought tears to my eyes.
I walk out of the room and as I'm coming back, I hear Shane talking to Kevin the fish. He is telling the fish that he finally has a good home and it just took some time to find the exact right family for him, but now he has the right family. He is leaned down with his face right at the edge of Kevin's little temporary bowl home and telling him in the softest, sweetest voice, "I'm right here. You don't need to worry. I'll take care of you." That was the most beautiful thing!
Of course now he's out riding his scooter and Kevin is swimming around in his new home, but I suspect we will hear many many conversations that take place between Shane and Kevin! What a cute pair!
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